Unreality

Floating heads whisper ancient charms
until my ears are burning with
secrets I know I cannot keep.
"Keep your head! Don’t let go!"
they try to tell me,
but now I’m in too deep.
My chest rips open and oozes
the sins I’ve hidden while
Death tries my soul to reap.
I lie amidst the darkness
and a spirit casts a spell
to lull me to eternal sleep.

Ferguson

"Hands up! Don’t Shoot!"
the people cry in the night.
But riot gear and gas make clear
that the people have no rights.

Peaceful people beg and pray
that their son be not forgot.
They urge police their crimes to cease
and the Reaper to justice be brought.

"Protect and serve" are the very words
that the force pretends to heed.
But after all they have the gall
to laugh when the people bleed.

Do not forget the tragedy
that sparked and fanned the flames.
Persecute the cops who shoot,
and infamize their names.

Spread the word that you’ll be heard
and the murderer punished, too.
Remind the heat you won’t be beat
and that they should fear you!

Easter

Easter's lily is now in bloom,
And happiness will fill each room
Where families gather to spread great cheer,
Hoping for a fruitful year.

Gloucester

At first I fell for all his cunning lies,

And that was when I owned a pair of eyes.

Denial was the game I loved to play.

The ugly truth, I pushed it far away.

The child I favored least became my foe.

That fact has been the source of all my woe.

His allies plucked my eyes right from my head.

Without my sight I should be good as dead.

The son I wrongly shunned came to my aid.

The debt I owe will never be repaid.

Deserving of this favor I was not,

But Edgar’s kindness will not be for naught.

He helped me through my time of deep despair,

And treated me with gentleness so fair.

I did not know him from his queer disguise,

Yet he prevented me from sure demise.

Although my crime was careless, I reserve,
This misery is something I deserve.

The lesson I have learned from this decree

Is treat my children rather equally.

My vision now is better than before,

Despite the fateful punishment I've bore.

No eyes to witness beauty, pain, or strife

But now I clearly see the truths of life.

Take heed the wisdom I do now impart:
Be wary of the wishes of your heart.

[[This poem was written in Spring 2011 of my senior year in high school.]]

To Whom It May Concern

To you who saw me struggling,
you who offered me
a "safe" place to stay
and get help;

To you who really did help
in the beginning,
you who listened and
became a trusted friend;

To you who betrayed my trust,
you who seized my freedom
and stole
my personal treasures;

To you who said one thing
then did another,
you who never tried
to understand;

To you who stood and watched
as I drowned in my tears,
you who tauntingly asked,
"why are you crying?";

To you who pushed me
to cut myself for the first time,
to slice my skin open
just to feel in control;

To you who punished me
for not believing in your god,
for trying to find
my own path;

To you who deceived,
you who tried to keep
the school from recognizing
my hard work;

To you who sinned,
you who kicked me out
the night before
I graduated with honors;

To you who had the audacity
to invite me over
for dinner
that very same night;

To you who puts on a facade,
you who acts like
the crimes you committed
never happened;

To you who sent me a self-righteous letter,
"I see your pain and
am willing to help when
you are no longer afraid";

To you who refuses to acknowledge
that you are the source
of all the pain I feel,
of all the nightmares;

To you who broke me
and stepped on all the pieces;
you who I will never forgive
and never forget;

To you who will no longer
plague my thoughts,
you who I now laugh at
for being so ignorant;

To you who will watch,
powerless
as I triumph over this
and snatch back my power;

Fuck you.

Three

Depression is lonely.

No one sees the grief you feel
Or the chasm in your heart.
No one gives you time to heal
Or any room to start.

No one hears the toxic thoughts
That swirl inside your head.
No one feels those subtle shots
That make you wish for death.

Every time you look for aid,
It's nowhere to be found.
Even friends who promise made
Have left you there to drown.

Now you wonder where to go,
You wonder, "what's my fate?"
But soon you'll see that once you know
It just might be too late.

Two

I gasp.
It strangles me in the night.
Its slimy digits surround.
Wraps its tendrils 'round my neck,
Violently pulling me down.

I sigh.
Heavy black smoke billows out
From my cracked, bleeding lips.
I feel it crawling inside me,
Probing and tensing its grip.

I cry.
Tears fall in sickening clumps,
Their poison tainting the air.
A foreign tongue laps them up,
Consuming the sweet despair.

I scream.
Breath catching in my throat,
The phantom hands squeeze tight.
Darkness overcomes my eyes,
Drowning out the light.

I die.